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Insanely Beautiful

Insane I have been. Insane I am. Insane I will be. That's just the way it is.

"Crazy" just doesn't do it. It doesn't have a clinical/medical sound to it. Weird, but I tend to connect the word "crazy" with Madonna in a "Desperately Seeking Susan" kind of way. Too much black lace which, ordinarily, would have been a bad thing.

That's why I'm settling for "insane."

Do I have to explain the "beautiful" part?

Only the Strong Survive

When I was fifteen, I thought that by age 35 I would have my own family, a house, a car and the bliss of adult life. Of course, I was wrong. What does a fifteen-year old know anyway aside from raging testosterones?

As I turn 35 today, all I have to show is a four-year old angel who carries my name. And what a blessing he is. He has become my world and my source of strength.

I have always believed that age is in the heart. This is not to say that getting old is a bad thing, because it is not. (You won't believe the quantity of young women -- by young I mean 18-25 -- that go for older men, but that's another story.) I may be a step slower or a few pounds heavier, but I can still keep up with the best of them. I would like to believe that I'm richer in experience and wisdom now, and that all those years have not been wasted.

I may have not lived the life I dreamed of but I am making the most out of what has been thrown my way. No regrets.

Only the strong survive.

.

Just a little rewind. This is a post from my room over at MTC.

22 March 2005

Happy birthday, my son, my lil lobo.

Four years. Time flies so fast. I can still remember when i could carry you using only one arm, but now I can't do that without endangering my spinal column.

Your baby smiles are now gone. Man, you're loud!

You don't cry as often as you used to. Heck, you voice out your opinions on things you're not even supposed to understand. And your questions! How am I supposed to know why ostriches can't fly? Or who can run faster, Flash or Dash?

When you walked up that stage two weeks ago to get your nursery diploma, I almost cried. You shouldn't be in school yet. You're just a baby! Well, at least you will always be my baby.

I wish you could see your face when you learned last Sunday afternoon that you'd be having a McDonald's birthday party. Well, it was your mom's idea to make it a surprise birthday party. And I'm very glad that you really enjoyed your party with your cousins, classmates and friends. Of course, Dana, your girlfriend, was there too. (Is it me, or magkakabit lang talaga kayo the whole time? I'm too young to be a lolo, demmit! We'll have that "talk" soon, you not-mana-sa-tatay you!)

Be good always. I believe that when you were awarded "Most Obedient" in class, your teacher is somehow telling you to be more obedient to mom and dad. We just want the best for you. And for now, we are the ones who will be making the decisions for you. Just trust us, as we trust you.

I love you.

My Son, The Graduate

Congratulations. You've made one giant step in your student life -- finish Nursery. Twenty-one more years and you'll be a lawyer too like mom and dad. Just take it one year at a time. Your time will come.

For now, enjoy the summer vacation back there in Iloilo. I miss you so much.

I love you.

My New Crush

bagay ba kami?

March on April?

Our dean told us last Saturday that those who'll be graduating by the end of summer 05 can join the graduation ceremonies of those graduating this March. Hmmm, I could be included there. Heck, I WILL BE included there.

Neat, no?

Win Some, Lose Some

I know, I know! Maybe it's just the law on averages doing its thing on me. It's the "losing" season... And I don't get it.

I'll be back!

Happy New Year

To all my friends, it's been fun to share 2004 with you... It's been a tough year for me, an emotional roller-coaster ride, so to speak. But hey, I'm still alive, so I guess I'm winning. Thank you all for the support.

2005 is my bar exam year. To all those who pray, please include me whenever you call to the Almighty. Thanks.

God bless us all.